Barbie dolls

Right foot going forward and left; vice-versa. All steps touching the ground on the same straight line. High heels doesn't make it any easier. Mini skirt, pink. Top, pink. With or without bra underneath. Face filled with make up. Wearing shades. Hair color is either natural blond or bleached blond. Insides of skull: rotten and unused for some time. In one word: barbie doll.

She is a strange specie of the urban homo sapiens. They usually do not walk alone but, as the Bobel Prize Winner P!nk said, "in packs of two and three", often carrying "itsy-bitsy doggies". They are fiercely territorial, often guarding their males with ferocious attacks with their claws, teeth and heels.

If one would like to mate with a barbie doll, he would need to:

1) Get in touch with her, start a conversation. Try to make jokes and discuss a topic that does not take too much mental power. Once this is passed, you can keep on ranting, because she will not be listening anymore. She will study your movement, muscles and other physical features.

2) Call her. A lot. A whole damn lot. Discuss things like "I like you. I like you more. No, I like you more. No me. No, me!" and "It's late, please hang up now. No, you hang up. I'm not gonna hang up, so you hang up." If 2 hours pass without you calling her (on the cellphone, we're modern now), your chances of mating will drop, and it can only be reraised with

3) Gifts. They should be, in most cases, very sparkly. Something attracts them to sparkly things.

In some situations, you will have to do more things, but this rarely happens. When things go perfectly, you can mate right after step 1. In very good cases, by step 2. In normal surroundings, the third step will be enough.

This scientific study will continue some time later, after we receive word from several universities and phychology specialists around the world that we have enquired about this growing porblem.

Death by cell phone radiations.